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Hello, our names are Sloppy and Jaloppy

We're in Bonkerville and she's the mayor

Those are spicy' meat-a-balls !

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That Just Happened !!

After hiring a few chaps, who know how to hang and bang - the "On the Mark" locks have just went through the roof. Not going to lie, I started out 3-7 and a (- $775). In turn, that hurt my feelings, which is why I hired a crew to bang out games and put us on the mother fucking map.

This is a must see bro

My man Sean Turner, one half of Tuna's Tips, dug deep and decided to pick John Wall as the MVP of the rookie game. I told Sean to chill on the weekends, but he said "Wall is going to win this thing, kid is a stud and he's not 30 years old like the rest of them." He made a good point - so he rolled with it. Jackpot City and Sean Tuna is the mayor. Won OTM $900, That just happened !!

This is a must see bro

  Boomer made his rookie debut tonight. I'm not going to lie - I was a bit nervous. After seeing tonights result I am nervous no more... Best hire I have made since I got that old homeless fuck to shovel my driveway. Boomer is going to be lights out. Harvard covers by 15 points. Boomer wins OTM $500. That just happened !!

This is a must see bro

Admit it, we were all excited watching the Bruins new lineup taking on the lowly Sens. "On the Mark" was about to bite the bullet and shotgun a beer - but then a massacre took place. The Bruins and Sens combined to score six goals in the third period to cover the over/under and give "Hutch's Helpers" another big win. That just happened !!

This is a must ignore bro

Mr. Craig Turner is not going to come out and apologize for this. So guess what, I will. After a huge back to back fail for OTM, Craig admits he has struggled, but that is life. Drink a Tilt and get with the times bro. Although Turner is struggling, I have his back and I know he comes back big when the game is on the line. Look for a run with Mr. Turner and Tuna's Tips. As he stands he is (- $850) in three games. Here comes the boom. Ship it harder than the Titanic.

(IN TOTAL THE STAFF HAS BROUGHT IN $ 1,400)



WWW.ON-THE-MARK-BLOG.COM

HELP ME PUT "ON THE MARK" - "ON THE MAP".

Grip it and rip it bro.

Looking for a location to launch the 1st Annual "OTM" Shit-Show.

Woooo !!

The Bird is the Word !

Saw this before I went to work this morning. Dumb bird flew into my kitchen window, left feathers all over my windshield. To boot- the dude landed smack down on a patch of ice. Good chance I have a birdie freeze-pop in my driveway as we speak.

Moral of the story. Have a good weekend. Fly responsibly.



"ON THE MARK" FRIDAY LOCKS

WE'RE BACK BITCH!! Yeah you heard me - The Sports Staff has come in and got the locks back on track. Check out all the action before the weekend - including the NEW Boomer's Bonus Pick.

NBA: All-Star Rookie Game MVP: John Wall (9 to 1) (Suggested $100 to win $900)

A lot of the young talent jumps out at you when you first look, especially with some of the odds (including Blake Griffins leading 3 to 1). To put it simply, If you want to tuck your weenis between your legs and play it safe to the favorite then be my guest. I'm more of a risk taker, and lets be serious- whoever controls this game wins the award... Power Fowards don't control the game, last I checked the Point Guard does. My bets going towards John Wall at a hefty payday of 9 to 1. (Tuna's Tips) 

NCAA Hoops: UCONN (+4.5) at Louisville (Suggested $300 to win $300)

 I dont have anything cool to say today, no fancy stats. I'm a UCONN fan. Kemba Walker will run train on the Cardinals of Louisville. It's a big game, both teams need the win. Last matchup at UCONN, Louisville won 79-78 in OT. F' them though. I'm sick of losing I'm sick of "On the Mark" giving me a hard time because I'm not winning.

Ya know what  - I'm going to sit at home at 9 pm, throw on ESPN and throw bud light bottles off my shitty TV every time Louisville scores. Take UCONN  because its the only cool game on TV and because I'm going to burn my house down if they dont. Ship it. (Tuna's Tips)

NHL: Bruins(O/U 5.5) at Senators (Parlay: Suggested $200 to win $435)

Difficult matchup here for an over/under game.  In three previous games this season there have only been twelve total goals scored...however all three games have been shutouts for the victor.  I'm going out on a limb here saying the Bruins win and take the over.  

 

Parlay that shit all day long. Back to back locks with the Big Bad Bruins. (Hutch's Helpers)

BONUS: NCAA Hoops: Harvard (-4) at Cornell (Suggested $500 to win $500)

Boomer pops his cherry with an Ivy League hoops matchup that is an absolute lock. Harvard, who boasts an 18-4 record, donkey punched Cornell in their last meeting by 21 points.

My gut tells me Harvard will beat these nerdy fucks by more than four points. Good luck Cornell - the only Big Red there will be tonight is the stain in your skivvies. Boom Roasted. (Boomers Bonus Pick)

"On The Marks" Mutants at Table 9

Each week I will be taking random pictures - in random places - with random people that I believe belong at table nine with the rest of the mutants.

Today I met Market Basket boy (6'8, 120 lbs). I said "Hey bro, cool if I take a picture with you for my blog, you are wicked tall and it would be funny." Kid was a sport, took it well actually.

After I took the picture an old guy screamed out to me "Hey, who was that, where does he play ball ?" I fumbled around with the improvising idea and all I came up with was "Not sure, he plays though - UCONN maybe ?"... The old man again replied with "I'd hope so, who cares if he goes to some shit school." Just another day in the Market Basket parking lot.

This segment will only get better with age. Trust me BA-ROEEE !!

Todays Shit-Show Status

Love you and all Jen-Jan, but what's the deal bro ?

You either have a weak stomach or I will have to agree with BPR and say you're a lightweight. What are you drinking when you go out anyway, acid?

I admit, I had the same problem when I used to binge drink at age 19. I will tell you what works. If you feel a vom coming on - spin around in a circle ten times, take a shot of Patron, then count down from 100 to one. That should take care of the spins and the puking situation. Let me know how it goes pal.

BLAST FROM THE PAST (BITCH)

Good old Ricky, remember him.... I sure do - I was the dude with the Lettermans jacket on. I'm ok though, no worries...I shouldn't of been talking smack to his hoe and his buddy Bo-Vice. Live and learn I guess ?
I'm glad Ricky and his friends at least enjoyed the Oreo cookie Christmas cake I made for the party.

Yeah - I got nothing. At least it's Friday. Enjoy the video mother fuckers.

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Nothing like a pair of mocha lattes in the morning

Knock, Knock, Who's Knockers ?

Those are some monster balls.

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"On the Mark" Thursday Locks

NBA: Dallas at Phoenix (+1.5) (Suggested $300 to win 300)

Dallas is on a tear, winning nine of their last ten games. Look for the big man Dirk to take over this game and bitch-slap Nash around the court.

Phoenix is only 16-12 on their home court while the road warrior Mavs are 18-8 on the road. Put it on the board, YES !!! (Tuna's Tips)

NCAA Hoops : Clemson (-2) at N.C. State (Suggested $300 to win $300)

Clemson goes on the road in the ACC clearly on the tournament bubble and with 5 games left before the ACC tournament the Tigers need to pounce now. Out of their five games remaining three are against the top tier ACC teams in Miami, Virginia Tech and also a trip to Duke.

In order to have a chance at the dance Clemson must win tonight against a Wolf pack team that is struggling to a 3-7 mark in conference. Why such a small line you ask, something tells me that Vegas is scared of by the Clemson's 4-4 record in their last 8 not to mention their 2 and 5 road mark and let us not forget NC State's 7-3 mark at home. Vegas might buy it, Not the Tuna. The only team worth a lick they've beaten at home is Miami. Some of there other wins at home include a dreadful Wake Forest team and traditional powers Delaware St., Alabama A&M, San Diego, Youngstown St. and the always tough USC Upstate.

Clemson should be desperate and NC State should be looking forward to their spring weekend. Clemson -2. Ship it. (Tuna's Tips)

NHL: Boston Bruins (-1.5) at New York Islanders (Suggested $300 to win $600)

The Bruins take a bus ride to New York after losing three straight games, but are eager to bounce back. No better team than the lowly Islanders to start with.

Boston has always faired well in the Isles' barn. After making tweeks to the Powerplay, the B's are confident they will capitalize on their opportunities going forward. Bruins must win by two goals in order to win the bet. Lock it in. Bruins snipe a win for "On the Mark" (Hutch's Helpers)

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Each and every Thursday, "On the Mark" will bring to you Tweets of the Week. It's quite simple - If John Mayer tweets about Jessica Simpsons tits again - he wins. If Paris Hilton tweets about her photo shoot in London - she doesn't win. You get the point.

Dear Warren Sapp: They stopped spinning the wheel on the Price is Right because they were afraid you thought it was a cupcake and spinning it would put you into a trance. Boom Roasted.

Dear D.A: Thanks again for thesupport, I can see your pearly whites from here pal. Boom Roasted.

Dear Ochocinco (receiver for the Bengals): The way you grow a beard like that is you reach puberty pal. Boom Roasted.

Dear Kim Kardashian: Is that right Kim... well I just got a fortune cookie that said "You will make love to Kim Kardashian," were they referring to me, or every player in the NFL? Boom Roasted.

POOR WALLY !!

Wow... Poor Wally.

What's the deal here ? Sure the guy sucked dick seven of the nine years he was in the pros, but he was a 1st team All-American in college and a first-round draft pick to boot.

When it comes down to it, I think the shmucks at CBS couldn't spell his last name correctly - so they just went with Random Dude. Wally Shitforbrains, Wally Zerbyback, Wally Shirtandhat... It is pretty tricky to spell, "Szczerbiak" there we go.

If I'm Wally World, I sue CBS for "hurt feelings". Ouchies bro.

(Special Thanks to Mike Fell for photo)

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Someone blow the dust off these fossils

Pastey (Check), Droopy (Check), Wrinkly (Check)

Nothing golden about these pancakes

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Marky Mark in the Minuteman

Check out tomorrows issue of the Billerica Minuteman as there will be an article about the Billerica Music Video which myself, Tom DeVeau and Jarrod Hanley helped create. The article was written by columnist and Billerica native Nancy Taylor. I would like to thank everyone for their help and for viewing the video. Without you, none of this would be possible. If you haven't seen it, check out the link below.



RUN STEVEN RUN !!

Support Steve Quinn as he will run 26.2 miles at this years Boston Marathon for Team Brigham.

Team Brigham raises funds for essential Brigham and Women’s Hospital community health programs to improve the quality of life for those less fortunate. From mentoring young students interested in a healthcare profession and providing practical on-the-job-work experiences, to community health centers, support programs for domestic violence victims, to compassionate services for women with breast cancer, these initiatives address the serious needs of our community and beyond.

Click the link below to learn more on Steve's Marathon Page.

** SUPPORT STEVE QUINN & TEAM BRIGHAM **