None... Ok nice. Me either -- but I know someone who has.
His name starts with Manny and ends with Ramirez. He is the most pure and talented right handed hitter in the game of baseball and he has decided to call it a career.
Apparently he was caught doping once again and that's what forced him to call it quits. Honestly, who gives a flying fuck about steroids in sports. We all know football and hockey guys pound that shit out like its 2% milk, so why hate the baseball players. Why even enforce that nonsense?
Steroids doesn't give you better hand eye baby boy, all it does is give you big muscles and a tiny set of testes.
I personally feel it's bullshit they went after a 38 year old future hall of famer when they should be taking down dudes like Pujols, Fielder, Texiera and many more. Does a bear shit in the woods ? Yes of course. Do ball players shoot roids -- You bet your ass sir.
The Bruins and Canadiens will faceoff in the 1st round of the NHL Playoffs on Tuesday and I am going out on a limb by saying whoever wins this series will win the Lord Stanley.
Both teams are equally matched with the Bruins having the gritty edge. If games come down to speed and skill alone the Bru Cru could be in for a world of hurt. Canadien Forwards Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez provide a dynamic scoring touch for the Habs squad. Special teams will play a key role in this series and if the Bruins can't keep Montreal grounded on the power play - this could be a one and done for the home team.
I hope Tony Maranaro gets sick and loses his voice next week. I also hope Subban falls and breaks his dick off and can't play for a month or so.
My prediction is Bruins in six. This is going to be a crazy fucking series. To my Montreal family - I love you guys, but this means business. Black and Gold, Truth be told, Young and old, Tough and bold, We wont fold..... Go Bruins.
This year will forever be remembred as when the city of Boston became a hockey town again. Bring back the bling boys !!
Opening day. Red Sox vs Yankees. Bottom of the 1st - Now batting Carl Crawford... Standing ovation right ?? Well one might think, instead he gets four claps and few, "Go Team Go's". It was an absolute embarrassment to the city and the team.
This season is going to be a long one. Again, I stand by my prediction of 102 wins, but the stadium atmosphere sucks man meat bro. The new HD screens are legit and the team on paper is an asbsolute wrecking ball -- the owners and GM have done all they could. It is up to us as fans to go into Fenway and make it a shitshow. Fuck the corporate jerk bags that look at their crackberry the entire game. Let's make the Fens a force to be reckoned with once again.
PS - I want to take a massive leak on J.D. Drews batting gloves.
Not gonna lie - This is probably the worst day you could possibly have.
Wife cheats on you then you get one punched on the concrete. Ouchies bro.
If you are impatient and have ADD like myself - Fast Forward to the 2:35 mark. If you are into the whole bitch crying in the car, dudes acting straight gangsta and drama unfolding - then this clip is for you.
If your not a hockey fan - that's fine... If your not a hockey fan and you watch this video and you still have no interest - you need your pulse checked bro.
For those of you who haven't seen this clip yet it's our own Milan Lucic back a few years ago in junior hockey. Guy absolutely lamb roasts the entire team in one shift.
I hope to hell I see him do this to Subban and the rest of those Habs pantywaists come the 1st round of the NHL Playoffs.
I know it's early - and I am never one to panic about our local sports teams - but what the fuck is going on with the Red Sox. It's one thing to get swept by the Rangers, but to get pounded for 11 homeruns and look as disinterested as they did, that's some serious shit bro. Not to mention, the most recent loss to the Cleveland Indians....that's just embarrasing.
Despite the slow start, I stand by my prediction of 102 wins and I will now go on record by saying that the most unlikely of heroes Daisuke Matsuzaka will be the one to break the Sox out of their funk tonight. Look for Adrian Gonzalez to hit his first homerun in a Red Sox uniform and Carl Crawford to contribute with a few hits and a SB.
This has been a tough week to watch for Red Sox fans, but remember the season is 162 games long. Don't jump off the wagon yet - and if you have - there is still plenty of space on the Bruins wagon bro.
Not sure if this is real or fake - but that was pretty intense.
Here's the translation for all the English speaking viewers....
Leather Boy : "That's my green tee-shirt, you stole that from me when you slept over a week ago"
Green Machine : "That's not true Billy, I stole your Batman undies and a pair of socks - that's it !!"
Leather Boy: "Don't walk away. I want my Adidas shirt back or I am going to pound you."
Green Machine: "Sorta like how I pounded your sister when I stayed the night bro"
Leather Boy : "Oh Yeah?"
Green Machine: "Yeah"
That's all she wrote Ladies and Gentlemen. The sound when Green hits the ground sounds like me on a Sunday morning - hungover trying to clean all the beer bottles on my kitchen table.
The Red Sox have reached an agreement with Mayor Thomas M. Menino and other interest groups to begin selling mixed drinks to fans at Fenway Park, based on testimony before the Boston Licensing Board this morning. The mayor, police, and community groups expressed support for the Red Sox plan to begin selling mixed drinks at five locations in the ballpark -- after the Red Sox agreed to relocate one stand further away from the bleacher section. (Boston.com)
Wow I guess when you go 0-4 you need to think of a way to keep fans in the seats.
This works for me.
Although the price will likely be out of this world and the amount of booze will be questionable - I still might try it out and just pound cocktails at the next game. Christ, if Dice K is pitching that's good for about 12-13 mixers bro.
"Yeah guy - I'll have two captain and cokes, 2 cape codahs' and a vodka tonic... No ice and make em' strong"
PS- It's horseshit how they shaft the bleachers in the deal. I guess they figure you can still smuggle nips in if your a "Bleacher Creature."
If you haven't been paying attention to any of their picks.... I recommend you start bro.
After another NBA cover, Sean Turner wins yet again - bringing his Tuna Tips total to $1,600 in less than two months. Jon Hutcheon took last night off, but he has won the past three times he has taken action. Hutch's Helpers has the highest bankroll at $1,750 mostly due to the power of his parlays. Lastly, Paul "Boomer" Coutoumas has been nearly perfect with his Bonus Picks. Most of his bets have come from NCAA Hoops - but after covering on an NBA tilt last night, Boomers Bonus total is at $ 1,500. In seven bets this season Boomer has won five, lost one and pushed another. He guaranteed a 70 % success rate when signing on - and he has exceeded that with a 85 % rate.
I am going to have to agree with my man Ryan here.
The only excuse for wearing men's skinny jeans is if you are really good at skateboarding or you play in a band. All other reasons are for good enough to me and you should put a pair of wide length Wranglers on.
The last person who should be wearing skinny jeans is a fat dude. I also want to add that I hate when chicks with zero asses wear skinny jeans. It makes my willy crawl back inside its cave.
Let's call a spade a spade and agree that baseball is and always will be Americas Favorite Pastime.
Although most would rather watch Cops re-runs than a nine inning game on television - it still remains the most popular sport in America. With that said - Here is the OTM 2011 Preview.
American League Top 5
1. Boston Red Sox : 102 - 60 (AL East Champions)
2. Chicago White Sox: 96-66 (AL Central Champions)
3. New York Yankees: 91-71 (AL Wildcard Champions)
4. Texas Rangers: 88-74 (AL West Champions)
5. Tampa Bay Rays: 85-77
On paper the Red Sox have possibly their best lineup in team history. When compared to the 2004 roster that set a record for runs and homers in a season - it literally blows them away. If Kevin Youkilis and Jacoby Ellsbury can stay healthy - David Ortiz maintains his 25 HR - 90 RBI numbers - and John Lackey and Josh Beckett combine for 27 wins - this team may exceed the 102 win prediction.
The Chicago White Sox are my sleeper team for 2011. Their lineup is extremely deep and will mash the ball in their hitter friendly ballpark. Alex Rios, Carlos Quentin, Paul Konerko and the addition of Adam Dunn will provide more than enough power for the Sox in white. Along with a strong rotation and speed on the basepaths, watch out for this team to be a threat in the playoffs.
The Yankees and Rangers who were both in last years AL Championship Series will both make the 2011 playoffs, but due to other teams improving and losing some key players they won't top the list. The Yankees rotation is quite thin with the loss of Andy Pettitte and they will have to rely on their explosive offense to make noise this season. Although the back of their bullpen is stacked - they will still need the starters to put in quality starts in order to be successful. As for the Rangers, the loss of Cliff Lee was crucial to their starting rotation. Again, they will have to be strong and consistent offensively to have another Cindarella season.
Tampa Bay rounds out the Top five despite losing all-stars Matt Garza, Carlos Pena, Jason Bartlett and Carl Crawford. The Rays also lost a chunk of thier bullpen as Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour, JP Howell and Rafael Soriano all parted ways in the off-season. New additions Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon look to lead a young team back to the playoffs for the 3rd consecutive season. The Rays still have a solid rotation and are excited for the debut of "Hellboy" Jeremy Hellickson who boasts a high 90' fastball.
National League Top 5
1. Philadelphia Phillies : 97 - 65 (NL East Champions)
2. Milwaukee Brewers: 95-67 (NL Central Champions)
3. Atlanta Braves: 91-71 (NL Wildcard Champions)
4. LA Dodgers: 89-73 (NL West Champions)
5. St. Louis Cardinals: 88-74
While the Red Sox boast the best hitting squad on paper, there is no question that the Phillies have the best pitching rotation. The caliber of pitching is pretty insane and should easily carry them to an NL East Title. Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, Roy Oswalt and Joe Blanton round out the crew. Blanton, the fifth starter, could likely be any other teams 2nd or 3rd starter, showing how much depth the rotation provides. Not to take any attention away from the offense which is led by veterans Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino. The only question will be the health of Chase Utley. Utley is the midst of a nagging knee injury and will likely be out until the All-Star Break if not longer. Despite the injury, the Phillies will have no problem locking up thier division.
The Brewers and Braves are both my sleeper picks in the National League. Brewers winning the NL Central and Braves stealing the Wild Card. The Brewers had a few hiccups last season, but the young team will come back strong in 2011. Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun are both all-world players and the emergence of Casey McGeehee, Rickie Weeks, Carlos Gomez and Corey Hart makes this a team to be reckoned with. Meanwhile the Braves will have tough league competition with the Phillies and Mets, but will come out as Wildcard Champs. The acqusition of Dan Uggla will prove to be a smart one as he is projected to hit 30 homers and knock in over a hundred runs. Forget the sophomore slump with Jason Heyward and expect him to have a monster year for the Braves. With young-studs like Heyward and Hanson and the leadership of Chipper Jones, Brian McCann and Derek Lowe the Braves will have a good balance to lift them to the second season.
Rounding up the National League is the eventual NL West Champions the Dodgers and the team outside the bubble, the Cardinals of St. Louis. Without the Manny being Manny destraction I feel the Dodgers will be a top contender this season. With offensive threats like Matt Kemp, Andre Either and James Loney to assist a solid rotation of Kershaw, Billingsly, Lilly, Kuroda and Garland the Dodgers appear to have more punch than the defending World Series Champion S.F. Giants. The St. Louis Cardinals have the best player in baseball in Albert Pujols. They also have a tremendous talent in Matt Holiday. But after those two players the roster quickly waters down. The only true stud in the rotation is Chris Carpenter and after him is an extreme drop off. The Cardinals will make some noise, but will eventually fall short of the playoffs.
2011 PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
I know a lot of you may think I am crazy, but this is how I see it. It's easy to be like Obama and just take the #1 seeds through the tournament, not this guy.
Although the best team on paper is the Red Sox, it doesn't mean that team always comes out the victor. I feel the power and poise of the Chicago White Sox will be enough to come out American League Champions. The Phillies are coming off back-to-back NL East series matchups, so I expect them to take what is rightfully theres as NL Champs.
World Series Champions
White Sox defeat the Phillies in six games to become World Champions.
Obama celebrates on the field with his fellow teammates.
So picture this- You're having a rough day....Lost your job ? Dog Died ? Perhaps you shit yourself at work ? So you head to your local Chinese establishment to get your mind off it and have a great meal.... That is until you open up your gookie.
The fortune reminds you of the day you left behind. While you were eating you forgot- you got fired and Fluffy died and your underwear is still caked with crap.
This was supposed to be your get-away, but instead it turned into a disaster. Real nice Wang Chung.
After seeing the Fighter last week I could only think to myself, "Wow, there is no way that Dicky Ecklund knocked out Sugar Ray here". He clearly loses his balance as he is piss pounding Ecklunds' face in.
The proof is in the pudding here pal. Slow-Motion evidence shows that Sugar-Tits gets tied up and loses his footing ... Time to go back to the drawing board Dicky.
We should just call Ecklund, "Ronnie" from the Jersey Shore.
Now that's a serious slip bro. It looks like Mortal Combat on a slip and slide. You can never trust that Jersey Boardwalk. Ronnie was probably crying like a bitch, soaked up the area with his tears, then played slugfest with my mans head after sliding 30 feet backwards.
Both Dicky and Ronnie are now heroes and poor Sugar Ray & Fat Baldy never even had a chance.
Tuna's Tips - NBA: Dallas (-5.5) at LA Clippers (Suggested $500)
Dallas has the best road record this season (26-10) and is fighting for a particularly good spot come playoffs. The Clippers are fighting for their win total to beat last years (29). Big Handsome, Dirk Nowitzki is quietly putting together an MVP campaign from the West and will continue that stretch tonight as this game is a given. Everyone and their sister knows that no team plays for "pride". They play for shits and giggles and the millions and millions of dollars they're getting paid to lose. Both teams are well rested, while the Clips are resting on an eight game skid. Dallas has beaten them by 16 (on the road) and by 7 at home this year. Dirk gets another vote, and Notorious T.U.N.E gets laid for making Marky Mark some money. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, BRO! (Dallas 5.5)
Boomers Bonus - NBA: Miami Heat (-12) at Washington Wizards (Suggested $300)
Although the Heat are coming off an embarrasing loss to the Cavs - look for them to bounce back and take a wizz on the Wiz. LeBron, Wade and Bosh have started to click over the past few weeks and against the leagues worst team I don't expect anything less. The last time D-Wade faced off against Washington he went for 41 pts.
Hit the Heat hard. You'll be glad you did. (Heat -12)
Ever since the song "Last Night" came out back in the early 2000's, I have always been a fan of the Strokes. It took a good friend of mine (Steama) to get me accustomed to their style, but I am glad he did - I am also glad he broke my friends guitar when he knee-dropped it while listening to the Strokes. This is an old school, funky track on their new album - Doesn't blow me out of the water, but it gets the job done bro.
Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song
This is far from Bruno's best work, but it is definitely a track that will get stuck in your head for days at a time. It relates to me personally because I am the laziest mo-fo' East of the Mississippi. It's ironic I usually blast this song while I eat nachos and play video games on my couch.
Written in the Stars - Tinie Tempah
This is just your typical pop chorus and hip hop verses that I absolutely eat up. If you haven't noticed I am clearly a fan of the two genres so when the two are combined it's like a makeout sesh and I'm the mayor. This to me is like B.o.B's minor league team, but it still makes the list this week.
FITCHBURG — For years after the subway accident that left James Maki terribly disfigured — missing his nose, upper lip, and cheeks — he mostly stayed insideand watched television. He lived just four blocks from downtown but never went there. He preferred isolation to children’s screams and strangers’ horrified stares.
This past Wednesday, two years since Maki underwent the first partial face transplant performed at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, he strolled into the City Hall Cafe on Main Street in Fitchburg.
“Hi!’’ exclaimed waitress Mona Roberts, who hadn’t seen him in a while. “You look wonderful.’’
Roberts hugged Maki warmly before he chose a table nestled in the front window, where he was clearly visible to passersby.
“I had put a brake on going out, because I didn’t like to listen to all the things people were saying,’’ Maki saidafter Roberts brought him hot chocolate with whipped cream. (Boston.com)
First off - who drinks hot chocolate and whippy after not showing your "face" for a few years ?
Not me. I would grab the stiffest drink in America and pound it - then hug the waitress.
I am a nice person and I have a huge heart. I feel for this guy for realsies. But I am going to ask the same question everyone will likely ask, "Why didn't this guy grab a sexy face?"
I honestly don't want to sound like a pecker head, but he grabbed a new face and the dudes face he grabbed was beat. The new face looks like Donald Trumps little brother on acid. Not a good look man - should've sniped Heath Ledgers or something.
He is probably still the best looking dude in Fitchburg. Place is the pits.
I know their is a lot of hype surrounding the Sox - but let's be honest.... The lineup is fucking insane.
Not to mention they have a rotation that struggled last year and is close to being the best in the game (besides the Phills). This is the best Red Sox team of all-time. I am not a homer, far from it, but I am positive that my prediction of 102 wins is "On the Mark".
Also, I will be attending my first ever opening day at Fenway. It's on Friday the 8th which means I will be skipping work that day and the next. Hooray for me. I have an extra ticket too and I am looking to bring a random mother fucker to party with me. Let the games begin.
Here it goes. I am going to be the first to say that the Boston Bruins need a BLACKOUT in the 1st round of the playoffs.
98.5 The Sports Hub - The static station across the hall and even you Tony Maranaro - get your black shit out of the closet guys.
Come on - you've all seen this before. White towels in Colorado - White Out... Usually yellow towels at the Garden - Piss hands.... This year I claim all black - all out - Blackout.
I had a weird dream last night - well actually two. One I was back in High School disecting a worm, but that's not here nor there... the other was the Bruins playing in the Stanley Cup. I would trade in two Super Bowl titles, the Red Sox 2007 ring and the Celtics crown to see the town of Boston hoist Lord Stanley. Although hockey is still not on the map, it still has the towns most loyal fans and "we" all deserve this trophy and I strongly believe this year is it.
Savard has memory loss... I bet when the Bruins are in the Eastern Conference Finals he will quickly remember how to play again and try to jump back in the lineup.... Dude is a fraud, I hope he retires, sorry if I offended anyone with that. My man is softer than a piece of toilet paper.
Moral of the story - Point of the matter ... When the Bruins hit the playoffs everyone wear fucking black. Garden employees give out black towels. It would be the dirtiest place to play man. We are already loud, drunk and downright nasty - imagine the place blacked out. Beauty.
PS - Every rose has it's Thornton. Every Cowboy has its sad sad Seguin.
(I cried, laughed and peed a little after watching this video)
An incident will take place on the ice and a long awaited rebuttal will be talked about by Bruins fans and media for days, weeks and even months.
We have all seen it when Randy Jones hit Patrice Bergeron from behind leaving him with a severe concussion. Jones payback ? Jack-Shit.... Not more than a year later we saw Matt Cooke decapitate Marc Savard leaving his head on the ice and his career in jeopardy. Cooke's payback ? Jack-Shit.
I think Round III will be a bit different folks.
Round 1 was the epic battle between Boston and Montreal at the TD Garden just two months ago. The game included eight fights and 200 penalty minutes. Bruins won the contest both physically and mentally, but just three weeks later they were grounded by the Habs. Round 2 in Montreal was a lot different. The bell rang and the Bruins were not able to answer the call. Late in the second period was when the drama began. Zdeno Chara fished for a puck and rode Canadien sniper Max Pacioretty into the stansion of the boards known as the "turnbuckle". Chara was ejected from the game, but didn't receive a suspension from the league. During this time Montreal fans and the media made ridiculous accusations and went as far as calling the police on Chara. Would they really arrest him ? Maybe actually... for being awesome.
Round 3 is tomorrow night at the Garden. We all expect revenge to take place and usually we are dissapointed. Well... this time it's all business. No one puts the Bruins in a corner and no one calls the cops on our captain, even if he is a goofy prick. The Canadiens have ran their mouths about this whole situation and the rivalry level is at a TEN. Tomorrow night is going to be an old school donnybrook mark my words.
Round I - Bruins .... Round II - Canadiens ... Round III - "On the Mark" because I will be ripping beers, chicken fingers and clam chowder courtesy of "on the house"... Get your popcorn ready people - shits gonna get sticky at the Garden tomorrow.
I had to take a picture of this old fart at Foxwoods this past weekend.
I legit sat there and watched my two buddies lose a good five or six hundred dollars on this one table before "Old Man McLean" sat down and just dominated the table.
Meanwhile my boys are still losing chips - McLean here is just raking in $25 dollar chips like they were skittles falling from a pinata. I couldn't sit and watch anymore and although I could barely see straight I slurred to him "Hey bro, you're loaded, I am gonna sit next to you and try this."
After about nine or ten hands I was up $175 and decided to walk away. I told Old Man McLean I wanted to have sex with him and he didn't approve. Instead I shared a cigarette with him and continued to talk about god knows what. As he walked back to his lucky seat - I asked him to snap a picture with me - he again didn't approve , so I just snapped one of his wrinkly ass and went on my way.
Old Man McLean will forever be my friend. I hope he didn't die in his sleep that night.
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