BOATS AND BROADS DON'T MIX BRO

Girls fucking hate when their boyfriends buy boats. Please, if you have a quick minute, allow me to explain the three reasons why.

1) A boyfriend getting a boat delays the process of getting the all important "engagement ring". With all the money going to the new boat, there is no money for a two carat diamond ring.

2) A boyfriend getting a boat means less presents for her on Birthdays and Christmas. How are you supposed to take her out to dinner and run errands for her, if you are crushing beers all day with your boys on your new floating pussy magnet.

3) This is the main reason. Are you ready for this? The reason girlfriends fucking hate when their boyfriends get boats is because boats give you the upper hand in the relationship. They hate that. If you and your girl get into a huge fight you can just be like, "See ya, I am going to my new awesome boat to rip it up.. By the way, eat shit because you are not going." Also, a new awesome boat makes you a 1,000 times more marketable to other females that otherwise may have been out of your league. The girlfriend now knows she has to start being nicer to you because as soon as she slips up you are going to be like, "Beat it , I am going to the boat to get max pussy that is probably gonna be better looking than you. It might not be better looking, but who really fucking cares."

My friends, Boats are AWESOME. If you have a girlfriend and want a boat - she is going to snap. My suggestion to you is buy the boat and be a fucking god! As for the girlfriend... Oops my bad !

(Special thanks to El Dieci-Siete for the post)